Phyllis Carrera traveled around the world to delve into her past.
Who/what contributed to your inner strength?
More than anything, "conscious choice" helped me overcome the pain and hardship I endured while transcending an abusive marriage. Without wonderful teachers, like a clergyman and my therapist, and the support of a 12-step group called, Codependents Anonymous, I would have never been able to navigate my troubled waters alone. Learning to reach for help in the midst of shame was the most difficult part of the "journey." Through the grace of God, and my willingness to follow his/her lead, I gained strength I never knew I had before.
When in your life was your inner strength particularly tested and how did you deal with the incident?
In the spring of 1988, I lost my father to cancer two weeks before my wedding. I realized I was in an abusive relationship one week before my wedding. Then, I was fired (downsized) from a successful consulting position three weeks after my wedding. Crisis forced me to change in 1988, but after a 10-year climb out of crisis, fear and the woundedness of my childhood, I found the courage to quit my job, sell my home and travel solo around the world. Those four months not only bolstered my courage, but they also taught me that no matter the road we travel (even if it's a solo adventure), we are never, ever alone! My body and soul were filled with the joy and beauty of wondrous foreign lands, which nourished me to continue traveling into the "hard" places in my life.
What suggestions do you have to help people realize their capabilities?
Listen to the quiet voice hidden behind the denial, fear, confusion. Pay attention to the signs and signals that appear to guide you on your path. To learn more about all the "souvenirs of self-discovery" (TM) I collected on my journey, visit www.humanarts.biz/Catalog.htm
Why is it important to focus on inner strength?
The external support available won't make a bit of difference unless we open ourselves to receive and accept personal responsibility for our own lives. We have to learn to stop being victims of crisis and circumstance and start believing that we're not given any burden we can't handle.
What are your next goals and what positive thoughts or activities keep you striving toward your goals?
I am determined to expand my reach, sharing my story of hope with as many people as possible, especially those who are burned out, abused or unfulfilled in their lives. Through speaking engagements and workshops, I'm hoping to strike a cord that leads participants to risk changing their lives in ways they've never had the strength to do before. A key goal is to help reduce "vicarious trauma" of domestic violence advocates, helping them build the strength they need to continue doing this challenging work.
Airdate: March 21, 2004
